Wow! Jaeger (Giant Robot) vs Kaiju (Giant Monster) Movie... Can't go wrong right?
The trailer looks awesome, the graphics rendering and posters look awesome, and directed by Guillermo del Toro??
One good thing I can say is that the 3D of this movie is pretty damn good.
If no matter what I write, you still intend to watch this movie, don't read any further. PLEASE. Because, I'm going to share spoilers and tell you why this is the
WORST Movie I've watched in this decade.
But, as many of you who would like to watch this movie would understand, Giant Robot vs Kaiju movies are not there for the plot, not there for logic, and not there for acting right? The premise of using Giant Robots against Giant monsters is pretty, erm... THERE IS NOT WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT.
I mean, maybe it is written by the same writers as Sharknado, it would make more sense.
Here is the low down.
1) Freaking Kaiju comes out from a rift in the Pacific Rim and attacks the San Francisco. It eventually got taken down, but death toll is high. Then another Kaiju came and destroyed another city. The human race united and decided to build Giant Robots to fight Giant Monsters.
2) You need 2 brain-connected pilots to pilot the Jaegers, they need to be in sync and they fight the Kaiju hand to hand.
3) The main character (the Jaeger Pilot) loses his brother in a fight against a Kaiju and ended up in Alaska where he became a construction worker for a few years. (Because he likes building? Instead of tearing building down?)
4) After killing Kaiju(s) and losing a lot of Jaegers, the human race decides to build walls around cities instead of building bigger and more powerful giant robots. And guess what, the humans discontinued the Jaeger project.
5) The walls could not stop the Kaiju in Australia, and the Jaegers had to be revived to fight the Kaiju again.
6) The scientist in the movie decided that he could connect with the mind of the Kaiju (yes, they have 2 brains like dinosaurs because they are too big?) and the scientist can find out more information about them, and find out their secrets, just to find that they have hive minds and they were being sent over to destroy humanity, which they previously came and killed the dinosaurs, but decided that the planet was not ready yet as they prefer a planet with holes in the ozone and a higher level of carbon dioxide. So our global warming caused them to come.
7) At this point, 4 Jaegers remain, and when the Kaiju appeared, it was the first time they came in pairs. They destroy 2 Jaegers, and could shut down the third one because they can emit an EMP pulse to shut down the electronics of the Jaegers (the third Jaeger) The Heroes have to get into their Jaeger and save the day because their nuclear powered Jaeger is analog while the others are digital. (What ever that means) Does it mean that their Jaeger is running on carburetors while the others are fuel injection? But I do see computer screens in their Jaeger.
8) After defeating both the Jaegers, the Heros return. The scientist who connected his mind with the Kaiju, decided that he needs to find out more because he did not get enough information before the last Kaiju's brain died. With 2 freshly dead Kaiju, the scientist wanted to connect with the brain again.
9) Yes, the one of enemy Kaiju was pregnant, and the baby was in the brain? Huh? And the baby came out and ate Ron Perlman...
Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Talk about fucking with your head, I guess the Kaiju are fucked in their heads too. So the baby came out and was strangled by its own umbilical cord. And the scientist could get information from its brain, and they find out their plan to bomb the "Rift" would not work as they need the Kaiju's DNA before the rift accepts them.
10) They follow the plan, to go to the "rift" and nuke it shut. Hmmm, as in the last battle, the Kaiju shut down the third Jaeger, but did not destroy it? One of the pilots got injured.
Remember, there was a big whoop about connected minds, the Boss man, yes, the one in charge of the operations, was also a Jaeger pilot, and he could miraculously sync with the pilot with the injured partner, because he has experience.
11) So, all the Kaiju that came before were "Category 3, and later Category 4..." Guess what? Now they fight underwater with 2 - "Category 4" Kaiju and a "Category 5". And as expected, the Boss Man sacrifices himself and his copilot as they were carrying the nuclear bomb to seal the rift, and he managed to detonate the payload as the Kaiju(s) close up on them while the Heros kill their Kaiju with a Sword. The Heroes then dragged a dead Kaiju and wanted to go through the Rift and detonate their Jaeger, and not surprisingly, the category 5 Kaiju did not die and the Heros killed it easily with their sword and just into the rift with the Kaiju. (I guess the Cat. 5 Kaiju too much damage from the Nuclear explosion and died easy)
12) As the Heros sustained serious damage and were running out of oxygen, the Main hero decided to give his oxygen to his cute asian girlfriend co-pilot and continue on the mission of detonating his Jaeger. And the denotation failed. Yeah right, no oxygen, and it fails right? He needs to do a manual override. But of course, he succeeds.
13) The Hero escapes in the escape pod and goes back through the rift.
SO, WHAT IS THIS SHIT ABOUT NEEDING A KAIJU TO GET THROUGH THE RIFT AGAIN??
14) The Hero reaches the surface of the water and his girlfriend who arrived earlier swims to his pod. He appears to have no life signs, she hugs him and cries, and like the Matrix and all the other lamo ending of endings, the Hero wakes up!
Yay! They live happily ever after.
Apart from the plot, acting, storyline, science, premise, overly game like CGI, bad romance ending, I can say, I kinda enjoyed this movie.
Again, I would say, the 3-D is very good.
As this movie falls so low beyond my expectation, I cannot rate it. But I'm looking forward to watch Sharknado now.
-- Robin Low
