Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity.
I'm not even going to seriously review this. I was shocked when I was in the cinema today. Initially, I thought it was like 300, with Inception music, but I was wrong.
I don't even want to explain the story. There is none! Everything does not make sense and the more they try to be serious, the more hilarious it gets. One thing though, the movie is very GORY! Lots of guts, blood and bodyparts everywhere.
Everything is predictable. The minute you see a virgin, you know she will not be for long, and they ACTUALLY SHOW IT, her ass and all!
The gore is not scary, but as it is trying to be artistic and serious, it becomes hilarious. Everyone is laughing at the over the top action sequence and gore.
It does teach you a valuable lesson though -- NEVER BE A TRAITOR / DEFECTOR. You will see the most horrible consequence, and it is graphic, did not even try to do any face away or off camera shots. A REAL OUCH moment.
Everyone seems to have great abs. It like everyone in the movie pauses to pose for the camera when they stop walking and show off their modeling pose for Abecrombie 500BC...
Nothing much else to say about this movie. 3D does not really add that much, but I do appreciate 3D ass cheeks, which makes me want to watch Sex and Zen in 3D.
Overall -- 3/10
If you want a comedy, go for it, it is brainless, gore and fun.
Otherwise, avoid it.
-- Robin Low